A New Animal
It’s more than a butterfly transformation
More like an armadillo one
Or better yet a pangolin (look it up)
Its covered with hard plates from head to tail
These plates are now drying up like old scabs
And falling off one at a time
I’m not pushing or prying them off
but as each one leaves
I feel lighter
What is left is a new animal underneath
Sort of like a new puppy
But its not new or young
The hard plates that felt like such a necessity
Are no longer needed
This new animal…
The summer month that I turned sixteen, the love of my life was killed in a car crash
The summer month that I turned sixteen, the love of my life was killed in a car crash.
I had never known anyone who had died. The news was the worst possible news that I could have heard. I was a tall, gawky introvert and not close to anyone, including my family. The death had a profound effect on me and the rest of my life.
What made it so tough was that the love of my life didn’t quite know he…
In real life I had separated from my husband but we were still living in the same house. I moved into my daughter’s room since she was away at college.
The room had a single bed with a wicker headboard. It had a lock on the door. I bought my first laptop so I no longer needed to share the desktop as we had always done. The window in the room faced the fence, but I didn’t mind.
It had been twenty five years of a not so good marriage. We had three wonderful kids, lived in a nice home…
I’m not a religious person. I’m not sure if there is a god or if prayer makes a difference. I do love a good ritual though.
Ritual is defined by a ceremonial act or action. I have always enjoyed adding ritual to my life. When I practice a ritual I am drawn into a deeper, more sacred space. My life feels more meaningful and so much less mundane.
My rituals are personal and have not been taught or handed down. The first ritual of my day is the cup I choose for my morning coffee. I have a cupboard filled…
Little girls are often told how pretty they are. Their clothing, hair, and complexion are scrutinized and commented on by everyone they meet. From the time I can remember, I was aware of how I looked. Most of my childhood I felt that I didn’t look pretty enough.
As a teen it wasn’t just boys my age that I wanted to look pretty for. It was everyone. What I wore each day mattered. How my hair looked, how smooth my skin was, how thin my body looked -- all were constant thoughts that accompanied me daily.
My first jobs were…
For me, words have certain shades and textures. I never liked the feeling of the word surrender. I thought it meant to give up.
Merriam-Webster defines surrender as giving oneself up into the power of another, to yield.
The most important part of that definition is the word yield. Yield doesn’t mean to stop, it means to allow. When I substitute the power of another with the power of life itself the texture of the word surrender changes. I’ve held the word, examined it and have practiced new ways of interpreting it. The word surrender has become precious to me.